How To Watch Formula 1

Motor sport can be defined in one word.  Race.  It’s a race!  The goal is to cross the finish line first, before everybody else.

Memorize that booty

Have you ever seen a hot girl and wanted to memorize her booty so you could think about it later?  That’s how you have to feel about the race track.  You have to memorize every turn so you know where the cars are at any given moment.  Imagine if you didn’t know what shape the football field was or what shape the basketball court was.  In these sports, it’s easy to memorize that booty.  It’s just a big rectangle.  But in motor sport, it gets tricky trying to memorize every turn.  It amazes me how many people try to watch motor sport without memorizing that booty.

Watch the qualifying session primarily to memorize the race course.  Of course qualifying session gets exciting when you keep track of what times the drivers are setting.  But the main purpose of qualifying is to memorize that booty.

Watch the start of the race many times

Watch it in slow motion even.  The most exciting part of the race is the very beginning when it is very easy for cars to pass just on the speed of the car.  At first, just keep your eyes on the race leader.  Watch the car in pole position (the car that starts off at first place) and see if they stay in the lead or if they fall behind.  Once you made it to the first turn and have an idea of what the race leader did, rewind and start paying attention to the next few cars.  If this is hard just focus on one car at a time.  By the time you’ve watched the start of the race enough, they will show replays of the start from different angles.  Watch these over and over too.

You’ve completed this step when you can visualize every single car coming into the first turn and what place they’re in.  This, of course, means that you’ve made yourself familiar with all the cars and drivers.

Watch the passes

A pass in Formula 1 is equivalent to a touchdown in football.  Most people rewind on their DVRs to get a second look in slow motion.  Enjoy these!

If it gets boring, fast forward

If you don’t see the point of following the cars as they get closer and closer to the car in front of them then just fast forward and stop when you see a pass.

Additional tip

Imagine trying to watch a basketball game without ever knowing the score.  Make sure you look at the score in motor sport!  They will list the cars in the order of the place they’re in and they will show how many seconds a certain car is behind another car.  Pay attention to these times and places!  This is the score in motor sport.

Cosmetic Surgery Warning

If you’re thinking about getting cosmetic surgery that will result in a scar on your face, you must read this.

People who have scars on their faces from having a mole surgically removed are said by psychics to be reincarnations of great sinners.  Murderers.  Sexually unclean people.  Diseased with sins as well as STDs.

If you have a scar on your face from cosmetic surgery, you will eventually be tortured by psychics.  Here in America, the torture will be performed mostly by psychic Christians.  But even Buddhists and Hindus will torture you.  They will make you feel great headaches, and they will make you suffer from obsessive-compulsion.  You will be required to do things 5 times in order to feel right.  That means washing your hands 5 times.  Checking all the locks in your house 5 times before you go to sleep.  You see, having cosmetic surgery is evidence to psychics that you have lived at least 5 lives of sin.

Psychics pick people as early as their birth to receive moles on their face that will lead them to get cosmetic surgery.  Until you have the mole removed, though, you will not be tortured by psychics.

You might read this, but still decide to get cosmetic surgery years later because you forgot what you read today.

If you have a scar on your face and are being tortured by psychics, your only hope is to try and convince psychics that you are a reincarnation of the Real Race Car Baby of All the World that Jesus spoke about telepathically to psychics while he was being crucified.

Jesus said that this Real Race Car Baby would be set to marry starlets without having to break a set.  A set is when spirits enter you to make you do the opposite thing of which you are trying to break a set to do.  This Race Car Baby is the only one that would be set to marry starlets.  Jesus said this while he was on the cross.  He reminded psychics about his teaching that nothing on the face of a Real Race Car Baby is a blemish.  He commanded that this Race Car Baby should have a scar on his face from cosmetic surgery.  But he is not 5 lives old like his “scratch” brethren.  (A “scratch” is someone who has a scar on their face from getting a mole removed.)  He is not a great sinner.  He is the soul of Judas that started life as Judas.  This main soul of his is only on his second life.

I am this Real Race Car Baby of All the World.  I have had a mole removed through cosmetic surgery.  The scar has changed shape and now looks like the Hebrew letter “dalet,” which signifies the names of God.  Sometimes, it looks like a cross if you look at it from a certain angle.

Parts of me will be reincarnated into other “scratches,” and even many non-scratches.  I am the only scratch that can be reincarnated into non-scratches.  Your best hope, if you’ve had cosmetic surgery, is to have psychics tell you that you are a reincarnation of me.

Jesus invented Supergirl

supergirl-cosplay

I want to share with you a vision of a telestial kingdom.  Don’t become obsessed with Supergirl if you don’t want to go to this telestial kingdom.

When I was “in there” with the Italians (read my entry titled Catholic Torture), they gave me leave offers.  That is, they would propose to me, telepathically, that I leave my house walking.  They said that I was a Real Race Car Baby (read my entries titled Race Car Baby and The Baby) and that I would get to marry starlets if I began a non-location life.  I had to give up living in a home.  I had to wander from city to city on foot.  If I did this, God would set starlets to want to marry me.  He would send angels to go inside them and make them fall in love with me.

A starlet is a young, female, psychic celebrity.  Psychics watch people through remove-viewing powers.  And Jesus commanded psychic Christians to watch at least one Baby.  Well, some psychics watch young girls.  This is a popular thing for psychics to do.  And I would get to marry these young girls because I was a Real Race Car Baby.  They would transmit images of starlets to my mind telepathically.  A leave offer was usually devoted to a certain starlet.

There was a leave offer devoted to Supergirl.  This is because, supposedly, Jesus was the first person to think of a “supergirl.”  He imagined a caped woman in a purple suit with a “super” symbol on her chest.  I don’t know what the Hebrew word for “super” is so I don’t know what exact symbol or Hebrew letter Jesus envisioned on his “supergirl.”  Jesus also said that Supergirl should be a leave offer for the Baby, and that they should set you to want to go at some point, but still keeping you in a state where you have to break a set to go.  When they offered it to me, I remember that I did want to go, but only for like a second.  Then I felt I shouldn’t go.  I didn’t go.

Jesus said that Judas, his apostle, after he had suffered for the sin of betraying Him (read my entry titled Prison Is Literally Hell), would get to go to a telestial kingdom.  A telestial kingdom is the lowest degree of glory in Mormon theology.  It is the lowest of the 3 heavens you can go to.  There are many telestial kingdoms.  I had a vision of the telestial kingdom that Jesus wanted Judas to go to.

In this telestial kingdom, Judas will be reincarnated into a Superman — a dude who can fly.  He is a god over the planet.  He has dominion over all its life.  He flies around and controls things with his mind.

He has a wife on this planet.  And she is Supergirl.  They have super-relations with each other and create more Superkids.  The only way they can talk to God is through the Holy Ghost (for they are actually in something some people would call hell).  People in hell can only have a relationship with God through the Holy Ghost (like people here on Earth).

Anybody who is a big fan of Supergirl will be reincarnated into this life and will share a soul with Judas the Apostle.  Don’t become obsessed with Supergirl if you don’t want to go to this telestial kingdom.  A telestial kingdom is the same thing as hell for a Mormon.

Anyway, a big regret of mine is not leaving my house for this Supergirl leave offer.  They made me run into a young girl wearing a Supergirl shirt at the grocery store.  Then, my dad played my favorite trance song for me at his house.  Then they made the offer.  You see, when they offer you, they give you a set.  In other words, they send spirits to go inside of you and make you not want to go.  You have to break this set in order to fulfill the leave offer.  If you go, they give you the psychic power to make anybody wearing a Supergirl or Superman logo fall in love with you.

I am curious to see if I get to go to the Supergirl telestial kingdom when I die.  It would mean I don’t get to go to heaven, but it oughta be nice making love to Supergirl.  But I wonder what costume she’ll wear.  The blue one?  Or the white one?  Or the purple one that Jesus imagined?

Again, I want to tell you what psychics told me: Don’t become obsessed with Supergirl if you don’t want to go to this telestial kingdom.

Update

Psychics told me after I published this entry that the symbol that Jesus imagined on the chest of the costume of the “Supergirl” he invented was the Hebrew letter “dalet.”  It is the Hebrew equivalent of the English letter “D.”  As in English, it is the fourth letter of the Hebrew alphabet.  It symbolizes the names of God.  Here is a picture of dalet:

dalet

The Book of Judas

  • Judas was an Apostle of the Lord – even one of the original Twelve Apostles.
  • When Jesus selected Judas to be an apostle, Jesus knew that Judas had lived past lives.
  • God, our Father in heaven doesn’t like humans living more than one earthly life. But he knew that certain people believed in other gods and were able to be reincarnated. Reincarnation is the plan of other gods. God, our Father, hates this plan.
  • Yet, there are many people who have had past lives. God knew that some of them would turn to Christianity. Because the Gospel of Jesus Christ is for all mankind, Jesus knew he had to have a gospel plan for those with past lives who turn to Christianity. Jesus will take all the souls who will believe in His name.
  • Jesus knew he had to select at least one apostle who had lived past lives. He selected Judas.
  • Salvation for those with past lives is usually the grace to be reincarnated as other types of Christians.
  • God created a special race of gentlemen called Race Car Babies. They have all had past lives. In order to be a Race Car Baby, you had to be Christian in your last past life.
  • Judas consisted of thousands of souls who had sinned in past lives or who believed in other gods in past lives. And he was an apostle of the Lord.
  • When Judas died, he was divided into the thousands of souls that were him, and many of them became Race Car Babies.
  • There was a part of Judas that was born when Judas was born. A new soul was born when Judas was born. There is a soul who lived his first life as Judas, the Apostle of Jesus.
  • This one soul became the Real Race Car Baby of All the World known as Arthur III. He is a Mexican. Jesus prophesied that he would make a Race Car Baby out of a dark, white race. So dark many people would not consider them white. From a land so far away that many people would doubt they are a white race. Arthur III is this Baby. He is called The Real Mexican.
  • There is a soul whose first life was that of Judas, and whose second life was that of Arthur III. There are other souls who were Judas who are now Arthur III. Furthermore, there are at least thousands of other people who were Christian but died in sin. Anybody alive in the world today that is Christian yet sins might be reincarnated as Arthur III.
  • Usually, people with past lives cannot return back to heaven. But Arthur III is an exception. By following the soul of Judas the Apostle, all the souls who are reincarnated as Arthur III have the chance to return to God the Father and Jesus Christ in heaven.

Race Car Baby

There are special babies from the Baby Race that Jesus told us to preserve.  These babies are destined to marry starlets or to be like prophets of people’s past lives.  A prophet of sinners.  Someone to count on for religious purposes like prophets of old.  Or they get to marry starlets.

The way they decide if you’re the one who is going to marry starlets is by giving you leave offers.  While you are “in there” with the Italians (which is where they torture you for being psychic) you will also be given offers to leave your house walking so that you can meet and marry all sorts of women.  They show you all sorts of starlets by giving you visions of pretty girls in your head.  All this and more if you are reborn as a Race Car Baby.

But if you don’t leave your house walking on any of these offers after a certain time the Church will determine that you are a prophet instead.  You will learn alot of religion telepathically and many psychics will see you as a source for accurate religion and information about their past lives.

Every region where Catholics can establish their prerogative there will be a ‘Real’ Race Car Baby.  There is a Real of Italy, for example.  There is also a Real Race Car Baby of all of Lithuania.

I am the Real of All the World.  Real Race Car Babies of All the World take a name of Arthur.  I am Arthur III.  Arthur II married starlets.  So did Arthur I who I have heard is dead now but I don’t know for certain.  They say they have made Arthur IV.  After 4 Arthurs they start over at 1 again.  There has been consecutive Arthur First, Second, Third, and Fourths for a long time now.  I would guess a thousand years.

Again I have special permission to type about these things.

The Baby

One of the things that Jesus telepathically told us to do while he lived on the Earth is to create a race of men known as ‘The Baby.’  To make one, many people have to merge so that they can, as psychics, see the microscopic organism that is created when human life begins.  The mother is fertilized, much like Jesus was, through psychics who have a copy of the DNA of ‘The Baby’ —  usually through human feces.  That psychics are involved in the making of the baby mirrors the fact that the Holy Ghost himself fertilized Mary.  The conception of a ‘baby’ is quite miraculous for those who have had a chance to partake in the making of one.

Most babies have the brain of Jesus.  They are very smart as was our LORD.  Jesus said it was a sin to have the same brain as him so most babies are not on their first life.  They have sinned in a previous life but have proven a faith to the LORD that would allow them to have the same brain as our master.

Some babies don’t have the same brain as the one widely held to be that of Jesus.  Some have a brain that is among the other few brains rumored to have been the actual brain of Jesus.  But almost all babies have at least one body part that is exactly like Jesus’.

Babies are also darker in color.  They are white as opposed to black, but it is a very tan white.  They look like Mexicans or Middle-Easterners.  Some would describe the skin color as brown.  But Jesus said to view ‘The Baby’ as a white.  Even as white as Caucasians.  You see, Jesus was a white supremacist to some degree.  He felt that this special race he was creating should be viewed as just as superior as any other whites.

In fact, some babies are born with white skin (much like a Caucasian’s).  As they grow, some areas of skin color tan to a darker color.  But many babies still have white skin underneath their clothes which block the sun.

If there are Catholics where you live, there is probably a baby somewhere in your community.  The race they identify with is that of their parents which is usually a white yet dark race.  Jesus said that Christian psychics should watch at least one baby regularly through remote viewing powers.  Most people who are psychic watch at least three babies.  This makes Babies psychic celebrities.