Church of Meth

I have had lengthy email conversations with the founder of the Church of Meth — the Prophet Daniel A. Martinez.  He has a blog at but you won’t find anything about his church there.  Just interesting that a good Mormon boy would start a church devoted to meth.  The church’s website is at and he talks about how meth makes you psychic so it should be legalized for religious purposes.  Check him out!

The prophet is definitely a Christian.  He believes some of the same Christian doctrines that I learned telepathically.  For example, he agrees that you must pass gas before sex in order to scare away evil spirits.  This is something Jesus said to psychics.

I am jealous of him because he is a Mormon.  I can’t join the Mormon church because I’ve used meth before.  But he joined the Mormon church before he smoked meth.  He tells me I can still join but that doesn’t explain how all these Mormon spirits wish death on me every time I think of visiting a Mormon church.

The prophet believes that Jesus used meth.  God the Father gave him pure meth to eat everyday.  That is how he knew everyone’s thoughts in the Gospels.  I’m not sure I believe that.  But I would love to have prescription meth for religious purposes.  He is completely against illegal street meth and advises all tweakers to only use Desoxyn if legally possible and if not then don’t use meth.

He believes that in the future the priesthood of his church will be able to prescribe Desoxyn to religious believers just as well as a doctor or psychiatrist.  Let’s wish him the best of luck in his endeavors!